In the context of Women’s Week, these advices will be directed at the husbands. That does not mean that the wives cannot take the advices as well.

Keep Quiet About Your Marriage Issues
Your first instinct after having an argument with your wife, might be to turn to friends and family to vent. It might seem like a good idea at the time when you’re full of emotions, and you need to let off some steam, but it’s not healthy for your relationship. Consider these factors before telling others about the problems in your marriage…

1. Biased opinion – No matter who’s to blame for the argument that you and your wife got into, your family and friends will almost always take your side. They’ll be more inclined to agree with you, for the obvious reasons. They won’t want to upset you or tell you where you might have gone wrong, or that the argument is petty. Instead, they most likely will agree with what you’re saying, and this doesn’t help anybody.

2. Resentment towards your wife – Telling your family and friends what a bad person your wife is for upsetting you, can cause your family to build resentment towards her, because they’re only hearing your side of the story. When you’re upset it’s going to come out bad, and you might end up making the argument sound worse than it really is. Naturally, your family and friends just want to protect you, therefore, they’re more likely to take your side, and possibly resent your spouse.

3. Guilt – After all is said and done and you’ve made up with your wife, you could end up feeling guilty about telling other people. Even if you didn’t intend to make your partner look bad, it’s only natural for some people to think that you’re being treated unfairly. It might also make your partner feel uncomfortable that you’re involving your family, in sensitive matters like this.

5. Wrong advice – Getting the wrong advice can cause even more conflict because you might take other people’s advice and run with it, and sometimes that advice is not always the best. You want to make sure that you’re talking to someone who you trust very well, and who has your best interest (and your marriage) at heart.

Of course, this doesn’t mean that you shouldn’t seek help if the situation reaches a dangerous level. In that case, speak to people who can do something about it like a senior Aalim or a counselor. There is no benefit in speaking to friends and family just to vent or to ‘show her a point’. Remember that you and your spouse are in this together, and that it’s normal to argue, and doesn’t always mean that you’re in a bad marriage. Every couple has their disagreements, and it’s not uncommon to not speak to each other for a few hours until you’ve both cooled off.