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Dealing With Disappointment – Build Resilience

2. Build Resilience
This is the ability to overcome difficult circumstances and ‘bounce back’ stronger than before. For some of us, resilience is built with experiences and age. Resilience allows us to actualize one of the greatest keys to success, which is to believe that we are not the results of our circumstances.

It allows us to come back and try again, even after great disappointment because we did not want to allow circumstances to dictate who we are or the quality of our life. Poverty, illness, sadness, a lack of safety, a lack of opportunity or social support and other unfortunate circumstances do not have to doom a person to misery.

To build more resilience, we can start each day with a strong affirmative statement such as “Insha’Allah I will overcome this disappointment/grief/hurt/ etc.” Remember what we are grateful for everyday including the blessings and strengths Allah Ta’aala has bestowed upon us, and express our thoughts in our Dua’a to Allah Ta’aala.

Regardless of how difficult our circumstances may be, we are blessed. If we have lost our wealth, perhaps our family is still with us. If we have lost our health, perhaps our faith is as strong as ever. If we have lost our loved ones, perhaps Allah Ta’aala has blessed us with the material resources and means to help others.

Sometimes it’s difficult to see the glass half full, or to see the silver lining. But if we look closely enough, we’ll find that, even in our darkest and most difficult moments, Allah Ta’aala has blessed us with so much. Even a difficulty that we hate can actually turn out to be a blessing. It’s just as Allah Ta’aala says in the Quran:

كُتِبَ عَلَيْكُمُ الْقِتَالُ وَهُوَ كُرْهٌ لَكُمْ ۖ وَعَسَىٰ أَنْ تَكْرَهُوا شَيْئًا وَهُوَ خَيْرٌ لَكُمْ ۖ وَعَسَىٰ أَنْ تُحِبُّوا شَيْئًا وَهُوَ شَرٌّ لَكُمْ ۗ وَاللَّهُ يَعْلَمُ وَأَنْتُمْ لَا تَعْلَمُونَ
“But perhaps you hate a thing and it is good for you; and perhaps you love a thing and it is bad for you. And Allah Knows, while you know not.” (2:216)

It is of great help to create purpose and passion in our lives that compels us to work through and overcome our trials and tribulations.

And remember that our achievements in life are proportionate to our level of courage, which are in turn based on our beliefs about whether we can make our goals happen or not, and our ability to grow stronger through adversity by practicing resilience (yes, resilience is a skill that can be developed and practiced). So we must believe that we have immense courage inside of us. We must believe that we can overcome adversity. We must believe that we can achieve success and contentment insha’Allah.

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