5. Pay attention to the tone and volume
Beware of your tone and the volume of your voice. Your tone determines whether you will make your relationship or break it. Any undesirable loudness in your voice could put people off and make any further attempts to communicate futile. Allah mentions in the Quraan…
وَاقْصِدْ فِي مَشْيِكَ وَاغْضُضْ مِنْ صَوْتِكَ ۚ إِنَّ أَنْكَرَ الْأَصْوَاتِ لَصَوْتُ الْحَمِيرِ
“And be moderate in your pace and lower your voice; indeed, the most disagreeable of sounds is the voice of donkeys.” [Qur’an: Surah Luqmaan, Verse 19]
Our tone tells the truth even when our words don’t, even when we’re unaware of that truth ourselves. And it’s our tone to which others respond. We can even say “I love you” in a way that provokes bitterness and then innocently argue we’re being unfairly attacked when the person to whom we’ve said it quite rightly responds to our tone rather than our words.
What you think you hear in another person’s tone is almost always present. And if someone accuses you of an attitude or feeling you don’t think you have, unless they’re particularly thick or have some hidden agenda, what they have to say likely represents something you need to hear.
When others respond to us negatively or in ways other than what we want or expect, rather than criticizing or attacking them, we should pause to reflect on how our tone (and therefore our underlying feelings of the moment) may have caused the reaction we received.
6. Remember not all are the same
Consider people’s different characteristics and differences while communicating. Keep in mind their age, status, temperament and other factors.
Certain slang words that we use with people our own age cannot and should not be used when speaking to our elders. Some might welcome a joke others might take offence, we need to understand that a certain style of conversation will not go well with everyone all the time. Respect is also extremely important. The way we approach our elders…
Once Nabi (Sallallahu Alayhi Wa Sallam) was in the Masjid. Abu Bakr R.A. took his elderly father (who was not Muslim at that time) to sit with Nabi (Sallallahu Alayhi Wa Sallam) When they arrived, Nabi (Sallallahu Alayhi Wa Sallam) said…
هَلَّا تَرَكْتَ الشَّيْخَ فِي بَيْتِهِ حَتَّى أَكُونَ أَنَا آتِيهِ فِيهِ
“Why did you not leave this elderly man (your father) at home so I could have gone personally to meet him”