BY MUMTAZ SALEY MOOSA
During Ramadhan whilst fasting, misunderstandings abound as tempers fray and hunger affects our usual logical thinking. Ramadhan is no walk in the park especially as time seems to slip away so quickly. It is during this time that we need to ensure that we give our spouse, more quality time and attention than usual.
Sister, I know that Ramadan is a busy time, beginning early and ending late and brothers, you may say that you’re downed by fatigue between early hours, work and the longer stint at the masjid.
As Muslims, we need to be cognizant of the fact that Islam teaches balance and moderation. Trust me on this, what you do in Ramadan, can help you increase your bonds of marriage.
So how do we find the time?
Set a time daily and just spend time catching up on each other’s day. Use this time to talk and catch up with the days’ happenings, to finalise important decisions and just getting to know how each other is doing. This leads to a healthy marriage and also allows both spouses to understand the challenges each faces daily. With the above being said make an intention daily and ask Allah to grant you patience with your shortcomings so that you may be kinder to your spouse.
What else can you do?
Husbands this is for you. Ask what you can help with. We are all tired and busy but preparation for iftaar can be shared and other chores around the house. It allows time for family bonding and conversations. Remember when doing things for the pleasure of Allah there is khayr in everything.
It is a great time to discuss topics of Islam – history, tafseer and hadith that will not only inspire you but give your children a better understanding and expand their knowledge. Listen to lectures on subjects that will benefit not just adults but the children too.
Muslims are meant to be a reminder to each other and a good idea is to send hadith to each other and maybe use those as a point of discussion with your children later in the day.
Make dua for your spouse
Simple right? But when did you last make dua for your spouse or your marriage? Ask Allah to guide you both and to keep you both happy.
Random Acts of kindness goes a long way
Cravings a major part of fasting, particularly when shopping. Giving gifts to your spouse and children is a sunnah. As you ignore that craving, rather put your mind to choosing a small gift for your better half. A favourite drink, sweet or food would suffice. It shows you are thinking of him/her, and it shows that you care. Remember there is a reward when we spend on family. Ramadhan is the month of charity, so when you give your sadaqah and so on set a reminder to spoil your spouse with one random treat.
I hope these tips help you and remember to use them after Ramadan too.
May Allah accept and may Allah strengthen our bonds with our spouses Ameen.