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Why we need to stop asking certain Questions

Mar 17, 2021

By Mumtaz Moosa Saley

17:03:2021

There is so much pressure on us as individuals, we have to deal with the global pandemic and now that lockdown restrictions have eased we have to deal with the local panchaat groups.

At weddings, when a girl or boy who is at the age of 25 and not married, remarks and winks will be made. If you are a married couple and have no children between the biryani and the dessert you will be nudged and asked how many years are you married and why are there no children yet.

Every social event is almost an ambush for many, let me not start about having gained or lost weight! You are not safe from the catastrophe of small talk that involves asking you questions you cannot, and most definitely do not want to answer.

Many ladies will tell you that they dread family functions, while dealing with their own emotions and wellbeing they have to now explain to extended family members why there are no children. While males aren’t any walk in the park. Social pressures are a lot and make every function not worth the effort.

How has this become a thing?

Well, I think that this has become a thing when small talk has run out.
Even if there is a family member who is concerned about why you are not married or don’t have children yet, there is a simple way of asking the person in private.
If there is a need to make small talk, we should do this taking in mind that we have no control over certain situations, that Allah is the best of planners.

As a society, the 40 plus generation here today are the next “older people.”
It is up to us to break this generational curse of asking things that do not concern us. We need to start changing the conversations at the table and understand that events are for catching up and not embarrassing the next person.

Let us keep this in mind, that we are all going through something. We all want a day to just forget and share joy. Almost a year since the lockdown, most of us are just to be in each other’s company, soaking up the love and happiness we missed out on during the long hard lockdown.

Let us talk about life without being disparaging and disrespectful. Be kind. And remember, we each have our burdens to carry and stories to tell. But, it may not be one that we want to share with the world.

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